WOW LOOK WHO'S NOT DEAD!
*JACKS THUMBS AT SELF*
Sorry for disappearing! College has been crazy as all getout. It's amazing. I mean I knew it'd be different and all, but I had no idea- I HAD NO IDEA
Being independent of your family is such a foriegn and liberating thing. I don't answer to anyone about when I sleep, where I put things, how often I clean, what I buy- Especially in my case since I don't have a roommate, every decision I make is wholly my own. It's wonderful.
I'm obviously not completely matured yet- I'm only 18- but at the same time, I'm so far from where I was one year ago, even. I was so scared to leave home, I knew it'd be good for me, and I had to do it- but I didn't want to. I wanted to cling to my family and be their child- I cried so hard when we parted ways.
After about a week it was fine.
Before I knew it, I didn't mind being alone in my little room of a home. I cleaned and went out to dinner and did work and I made decisions for myself. Even better- there was no one there to do things for
I was looking forward to going home for fall break in October, but when I did... I sat in my bed and just, looked around "my" room. And I realized that it WASN'T my room. I realized that the house wasn't even my HOME- Home was back at school- my home was that little room in the dormitory. Sure the house was a place with family I could always come back to, but at the same time, it wasn't were I belonged. I'd become independent of my family, and it was amazing.
When I was a senior last year, and was off at her first year of college, her dad said to me that when she came back, she'd be different. Something would have changed in her, and when she eventually returned, I saw he was right. I didn't know how to describe it, but she wasn't the same as she'd been when she first left for school.
Now I think I get it, cause it's happening to me.
The phrase "Grow up" has a lot of negative connotations, but there's nothing wrong with maturing. I think it's beautiful, actually, watching people grow into themselves. The idea that growing up has to be a loss of happiness and imagination is all backwards- growing up is supposed to be learning how you want to be happy, and expanding your mind even more. It's not settling into some cardboard cut-out life stained with coffee, it's gaining the strength, independence, and individuality to break away.
LOL SO BASICALLY MY POINT IS: "WOOOOOO LOOOKIT ME ALL MATURE AN' SHIT"
P.S. I'LL TRY AND UPLOAD SOME ARTS, BUT I DON'T DO MUCH CAUSE OF SCHOOL AND ALL CRIES
P.P.S. WOW THERE ARE SO MANY NEW WATCHERS I CAN'T EVEN UNDERSTANDA DSFLKJSDFLKAJSDF THANKS SO MUCH FOR SEEING FIT TO WATCH ME AND GEEZ I'M SORRY I DON'T HAVE THE TIME TO THANK EVERYONE INDIVIDUALLY BUT WOW THANKSSOMUCH YOUGUYS DON'T EVEN KNOW